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Evark
My lexica exude confidence like cartels' Mexicans dispute dominance while this rhyme's ever-increasing prominence brings sick-flow and I to concomitance.

Age 38, Male

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UMass Amherst

Boston, MA

Joined on 10/22/03

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So, I'm in this Creative Writing class

Posted by Evark - February 13th, 2008


... it's a poetry-based creative writing class. Go ahead, judge. Anyway, we were asked to write something in class yesterday that gives a strong sense of setting, and since my News Posts are pretty barren I figured I'd toss it up here for y'all's perusal. I'm skipping my Spanish class today since snow causes the campus to be closed until fifteen minutes before my class... but fuck that.

The beach near my house is divided. Parts are 'private,' though I've heard a shoreline can't truly be private property. On the far end of the second public third lies a sandy path into the woods. Looking left means viewing nearly unpassably rock-filled terrain to continue along the shore. Glancing right reveals a freshwater-fed pond with simultaneously marsh and bog-like properties. Herons are often found in that pond, though I'm not sure what fish they are feeding on. Those details are unimportant, as the deciduous and evergreens enlist the aid of a particularly thorny rose bush to shield the path's view.

I like it best at night, for despite the glare of Boston's visible skyline across miles of ocean, the air is clean enough for a well-defined Milky Way and all that entails. Nobody else is there at night, save guests in my charge and occasional drinking parties illegally starting fires to attract the police. It's a constant battle between residents and visitors, but as my lungs relax and the smoke mingles with the calm air a late August beach provides, the debate ends.

It is mine.

Predicted response: yawn boring. Yea whatever. I spent 10 minutes hand-writing it in class. Was setting invoked? Yes.

So I also had to write a poem in which we used five senses, but unfortunately it was torn out of my notebook that same day and handed in. So I guess I'll just post it in a later update.

Thoughts?


Comments

skimmed over it. i dont really like poems no offence.
thoughts: judging you - my ex wrote me poems, theyre the only poems i ever liked, course THEY rhymed, AND were love poems so if u write poems like that its sweet
any other poems and ur 1 of those old ppl thatr boring and stuff

^.^
oh and writing = good
creative writing = why take a class on it when u could easily write creatively on ur own? better because u wouldnt have an assignment

You confuse me. Firstly: I didn't post any poetry yet. Of course, you probably couldn't tell that this excerpt wasn't a poem since you skimmed over it.

Secondly: I prefer to write poetry that rhymes, and I've written love poems before but they're not anything that I would ever share with NG. 'Cept one I wrote that wasn't a specific love poem probably three years back now for a Valentine's Day poetry thread.

Thirdly: I'm taking a creative writing class because I'm an English major who needs to take those sorts of classes to get his degree in English.

It'd be nice if you'd actually read what I wrote though. Just the part in quotes, really. It's not that long and the language used shouldn't be that abrasive to your sensibility. Or, at least, not any more than your "^.^" was to mine.

This poem is particularly nice to me because I too, have a beach that is mine. Though I'm far away from it and some new group of teenagers has probably called it their own.

You used 'Though I'm....' twice, and unless you plan on using it as a recurring theme, phrases like that are best used only once, lest it seem too repetitive.

I loved this line:

Nobody else is there at night, save guests in my charge and occasional drinking parties illegally starting fires to attract the police.

It had a very nice progression, and when spoken aloud - which i did for this - it had a pretty rhythm.

I didn't like the word lungs though. It had a pungent taste it my mouth when spoken because most of your other words were breathy and exhaling.

mah thoughts.

Ha ha, it wasn't a poem, silly. It was just a description. However, it'll probably be turned INTO a poem because we're going to have to have one written up next week and this exercise was supposed to get our creative juices flowing and hopefully help us in developing one.

So I'll probably post that at a later date.

Otherwise though, I'm glad you liked it!

Silly me, I even knew it wasn't a poem because I read your comment bitching the other guy out. If it was a poem, you should have spaced it so I'm just a dummy and called it a poem when it wasn't.

that doesn't mean that my comments don't apply because rhythms and tone are important in prose tooooo.

It's cool, I'll just chalk it up to hair color. : b

dude go onto the forums general now - plz - its flooded with garbage! thanks :)

I didn't think it was yawn boring. I thought it was awesome.

Can I have your babies?

Thanks.

And absolutely. Once I've got some they're all yours.

lol. You're such a smart ass. <3 :-)

Blah, my sense of humor is a curse.

u r lvl 36! WOW!

Check back Saturday.